How to become a patient parent

7 Sanity-Saving Steps To Being A More Patient Parent NOW!

Family + Kids Heart of The Host/ess

Your 7 Step Plan To Becoming a More Patient Parent {save yourself for Summer!}

Summer’s on it’s way. The kids are going bonkers…and quite frankly so am I.  They’re restless, hyper, short tempered, spastic, whiney and excited {which pretty much sums up my state}. I’m going nuts, in a panic – what am I going to do with them this Summer? How am I going to distract them from last Summer’s favorite past time: fighting with each other. Time is flying by waaaaaay too quickly. We only have a few short weeks left of school before the wheels of my sane organized life start coming off!

Breathe, stay calm – I tell myself. The truth is I’m ready for a break from the morning fire drill, lunches, homework, projects, practice, strict bedtimes and the school year routine as well.  I just need to get through these last weeks of craziness and the anticipation of liberation. Like horses in the gates, mine are are ready to run – but  baby, this is a marathon.

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Alas I have gathered a 7 step plan on how we can get through this together – without losing it before {and after} school’s out for Summer …

1. Count to 10

When you feel yourself getting frustrated or losing your patience, stop. Count slowly to 10 {you can do this in your head, or out loud so the kids can hear you}. The idea is to first slow yourself down rather than impulse react and start lowering your heart rate. By 10, most of your initial frustration ‘should’ have melted away… you can proceed to step 2.

2. Breathe

After you count to 10, take three, long slow, deep breaths. Feel and visualize the tension draining out of your body with each breath. I visualize it literally as steam releasing from my body.

3. Be Mindful

One of the most effective and important methods for controlling an impulse — is to become more aware of it. Once you become aware of your impulses, and what triggers them, you can work out alternative reactions {which is waaaay easier to do when you slow down. Repeat step  1 & 2 if necessary}

4. Take Time Out

If you feel yourself becoming impatient or  having a hard time with self control – walk away for a few minutes. {This is THE BEST tactic when the kids are driving you nuts!} Let yourself calm down first, gather your wits, plan out your words, actions and solutions. Then you can re-focus.

5. Connect

look for a way to connect with your child or teenager. Let them in on your frustrations and struggles when you’re feeling fried. Instead of trying to control the situation, be a compassionate voice and listener. Talk with them instead of at them.  Now they will look at you as on their side, a team, instead of an advesary. Allow them be part of the resolution.  Sharing the control of the outcome takes the pressure off of you and helps kids to take responsibility as well as lessen power struggles.

6. Remember that you’re a role model

You teach your kids to be patient, so start to take your own advice! And remember, ‘monkey see, monkey do’!

7. Laugh

Remind yourself that no one is perfect, nothing happens instantly, and that we should be taking time to be grateful and enjoy all these moments with our loved ones – we can at least try to make it fun. If it all gets too much, laugh hysterically, maniacally, desperately…no matter what the situation, laughter is a great mood re-set.

Do you have any favorite parenting tips? We’d all love to hear them.
Please share below!

Here’s one of the parenting books I’ll be reading this Summer:
The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children – by Dr. Shefali Tsabary

 

 

 

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